It feels like ages since I last wrote, and even thought it's only been 4 months, my entire life has completely changed. I think George Costanza said it best:
"We got engaged, we bought the invitations, yada yada yada...I'm still single."
Thanks, George. That pretty much sums it up and leaves out the ever-present and ever-annoying emotion. Honestly, I'm tired of talking about it, I'm tired of thinking about it, and I'm ready to just keep moving forward. I have no idea what's going to happen, so right now I'm just going to move forward. That's all I can do. Huh. I just realized how funny it is that my blog is named what it is. That's exactly what the last 4 months have been. I'm not sure yet why they were necessary, but I have faith that someday I will know. Part of me thinks there is no way I signed up for this--but I'm sure I did. Like my mom said, "When they started to explain this year to you in heaven, you cut them off and said, 'Yeah, I got it, I got it. Just let me do it.'" She knows me. Very well.
But life goes on. A new school year has started, and it's been surprisingly smooth. It's amazing how calm I've been. And my students--wow--they are incredible. I have that one class--there's always one--but even they are okay. I just need to be patient. They'll come around. (Or perhaps I'm the one that needs to come around). Anyway, it's been fun.
I've learned a lot about myself these past few months. Most of what I've learned is even too new to put into words, but I do know that I'm not the same girl who wrote that last post. I'm older, I'm wiser, a little sadder,but all in all, I'm stronger. I had no idea what I was made of, and now I'm beginning to realize just what it means to be me. And, wow, that sounds lame. Anyway, the sun keeps rising, and I'm rising right along with it. Life goes on. Even when we don't want it to. And thank heaven for that.
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4 comments:
have i mentioned lately how deeply i adore you? you penned your thoughts very well here. i love the reality of a post 4 months ago and a post now. you are wiser, deeper, stronger, and definitely better for these last 4 months.
if there is ANYTHING i know about you, it's that you are strong. and beautiful - the way we are suppose to be, not MTV's way. :) i am excited for your journey of finding out exactly who and what you are. AND i am sooo excited that we get to be kindred spirits through it all. not many people get to be. again, a lucky little group.
LOVE you LOTS!
You are my hero. Seriously. Love you!
I like it. Is that not the most important thing...we learn from what we do and keep on going. (sorry to blog stalk)
hey gorgeous -
i "fell in love with you" back in a class our jr year of college...i can't remember the professor's name now, but oh well. and i remember thinking "this is a woman. not a girl, but a woman that i want to emulate and have in my life." and after having read your posts, i realized just how spot-on my assessment was, oh, 5 years ago. you are AY-MAY-ZING!!! you're going to be more than okay and i can't wait to see what 09 brings for you.keep the posts coming, i love your style!
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